Lighthouses in limbo

I’m in a strange limbo state at the moment.

I’m well on my way to making some big changes, moving from my old job so I can spend more time on coaching while also adding in personal training.

Taking active decisions to move towards the things I wanted to do was tough, but coming to more clarity and moving through fear was incredibly rewarding. Taking practical action and seeing doorways open before me was a revelation. Learning new things about a topic that fascinates me has been delightful.

But suddenly I found myself in a lull, a pause where I can’t seem to move forward.

• Still in the process of leaving my current job, but with a bit more to do before I can start to say my goodbyes and actually leave.
• Waiting for feedback on my portfolio before I can claim the qualification I need to move forward.
• Waiting for a new job opening to be confirmed so I have surety about the first step on my new path.
• Waiting to heal up enough to run and strength train again after going flying over a tree root on a trail run last week.

It feels odd to be so far into making this change, and yet somehow frozen on the doorstep. Stuck at the top of the roller coaster.

And right now there’s not much I can do about any of these things but wait, which leaves space for all the doubts to creep in. What if I don’t get my redundancy package when I need it? Don’t get the qualification I want? Don’t get the new job confirmed? Don’t have what it takes?

Interestingly I’m not working with a coach at the moment after my previous programme finished and before I put something new in place. I suspect this may also be contributing to my diluted momentum.

I started this post not knowing quite where I was going with it. But as often happens, writing about these things helps.

Writing about this has reminded me of times when I’ve helped my coaching clients through times like this. Sometimes this was a signal that they needed to reset and reconsider. But mostly I remember having a clear sense that they were still on the path they had chosen to follow, even if they couldn’t see it themselves. I didn’t deny the frustration and discomfort of this limbo state, but I helped them to remember where they were heading, and trust that things would keep progressing.

So I will try to believe in that for myself, and trust that momentum I have built up so far to carry me forwards towards the goals I have set. The goals that are my lighthouses in limbo.